icecreamcommando

Father

            Forever loving

            Always caring

            There when you need him

            Helpful in all things

            Ever safe

            Running with arms wide open

            That's my father and that's who I will become

I know that it's quite a bit late coming for Fathers Day but thanks Dad for all you've done for me and all that you will do.  I hope that I can become half the mand that you are today.

Here are the two blogs that I looked at and decided to respond to "Substance Abuse" and "Colossians and 1John".  So, here goes.  The reason why I picked "Substance Abuse" is not because I like it, in fact it's the contrary reason why I chose it, I hate it.  Why?  Because if you read it you'll find facts about S.A. and all of that and then you'll find something else: condemnation.  That is sickening to me and the fact that I wrote it is even worse.  I honestly wrote it from the standpoint and pride that I could inspire and talk everyone one out of their "spiritual slumber"  pff, yeah right, good luck with that right?  I mean yes we need to do stuff and actions are great but when challenging someone you need to do it in a way that speaks to them not at them because then you've lost them and they think that you're a cocky jerk or something like that.  So, I am very deeply sorry if I offended anyone by that blog, it was very irresponsible of me and very naiive adn ignorant and prideful of me and I ask your forgiveness.

Now for the lighter side of things.  I picked the Colossians and John blog because at the time it really spoke to me and I felt as though God was really encouraging me at that point in time and I never really realized how revelant and present God was until then.  You know fear is something that I struggle with a lot and to have those Scriptures speak to me at that time was really awesome.  The other awesome thing is that for once I didn't allow myself to look at encouragement and be like "Yeah, I wish that applied or worked for me."  Instead I was able to be like "Wow, that really helps me out."  Which is kinda cool because that doesn't happen that often either.  Some of my fears have been overcome and some haven't but you know I've learned how to act accordingly to those fears.  Me liking people who don't like me and falling for people that are just leading me on has been adressed and you know I realize that what happened is that I was responding out of fear of not being good enough and being "good enough" for those two people was great.  That is until I saw the truth in those situations, even with Emily, I saw it coming but I ignored it and fell anyway and you all saw what happened.  I have learned how to and not to react.

So thank you for being patient and forgiving with me, I know that I've screwed up and messed up and made you guys upset and all that type of stuff and having you guys be there to walk me through it really helps out.  I look forward to next year and being able to mess up and be safe.

Remember always in peace and serenity and remember that you are so literally cute.

Peace out 'till next year,

Brando The Ice Cream Commando, Marlin Brando, Luis The Cold Stone Bachelor, Bralesque and Fat Man, the Jolly Green Giant Who Broke The Wall

I hate to doubt especially when it comes to making decisions that cause change in my life and yet doubting is something that I do best.  One thing that I seem to doubt the most is God.  Quite honestly I haven't felt or heard or seen God until just recently, in fact it was yesterday.  Most of you know that my mom has been very sick as of late and that has taken a large toll on my father and I and yesterday was pretty much the same.  I listened through the door to my mom praying and just really struggling and when my dad and mom left the house I cried.  And I questioned and I questioned hard.  I asked God straight up "How is this love, how is this grace, how is this mercy?"  "Where are you in our suffering, I feel like David when he said 'How long will you hide yourselg from me?'"  I felt like Gideon in a way when he asked God to show himself to him you know? 

But you know in my suffering and doubting I felt in a way that I was sinning and yet in a way I didn't.  Why can't we ask questions, we're not perfect and so we're going to struggle and we're going to doubt and it never says that's a bad thing, does it?  God says that we shouldn't worry but why would he say something that we can't do?  He says "Do not be anxious in anything..."  knowing that we can't not be anxious.  Why would He ask something of us when he knows that we can't do it?  I mean, it's obviously not wishful thinking because we've done it in the past; Adam and Eve had no problem until the tree, but God knew that we would never be the same again and yet He still asks us to do those things which we cannot do!  I Don't Get It!

God is good though, He showed me Himself by giving mom the best day that she has had in over two months today so that in itself is proof that He is there.  My encouragement to you is that you can doubt and it's okay as long as you have faith that somehow God will show you Himself in some way.

I'm going to answer a couple of questions in this blog instead of just one so bear with me.  John talks about the literal meaning of the verse "I was sick and you came to visit me."  When we read on we find that those people are looking around saying "I don't know what or who you're talkin' to, but I nerver served You...ever."  What it means though is that we went to see those who were sick, as they were defined as the least of these they thus the focus of our compassion and service.  The group of people that John is talking to, to me, are the one sof us who are kinda' like "Dude, that sucks for you but I'm busy," or "I'll send you money, cards, food and other stuff but I can't come visit you."  And what is the reasoning for this, "It's the same thing to send them stuff than to actually hand deliver it isn't it."  Therein lies our problem according to John, yes technically it's just as beneficial to the person to send them bodily things that they need but, what about the soul?  Someone who is sick or is hurt or whatever can get all the gifts in the world but if we, the body of Christ, the hands, feet and heart of the One who is the Ultimate Lover don't do all that we can, than what good is it; their body is getting what it needs but their soul is dying for love and attention, compassion and caring.  So, do we necessarily have to visit the sick, no, but in order to adequately show the love of Christ, we need to the things that He would do; did Christ have to go with the man whose daughter lay dying in bed, no, He simply could have said "Your daughter is healed and it would have had the same bodily effect on the girl but the soul of the entire family was affected by Christ's love as He came to the house Himself.  As the followers of Christ are we not obligated to do the same?  And why is it an obligation, shouldn't we automatically want to do the exact things of our Creator?  I and John Wesley do.  Now, will we struggle with actually doing this, of course but the point is that we do it anyway or at least try our hardest to do it.

The second question that I will answer is "Is it necessary to visit those in prison."  I'm not going to spend as much time on this question because both questions have a universal answer.  Do we have to, no but in order to actually and adequately show the love of Christ we go and visit and encourage and pray for and with these people.  We share the Gospel and do all that we can to make sure that they know that they are loved by the Ultimate Lover which is Christ.

So the next time you see or hear of someone in need make sure you go out of your way to make them feel loved.  Not only will they feel better but you will as well.

You know what really sucks about having a lot of dreams and aspirations is that you have to say no to some of the things that you want to do because of something or other wether it be schedule or otherwise.  I've had a lot of that lately.  The reason that it sucks is I see so much that I can do and want to do and so many things that I can't do because I have school and work and worship and this and that and the other thing.  For example I have to wait until school gets out to start setting up the S.T.P.O. (Sex Trafficking Prevention Org.)  I also have to wait until school gets out to maybe start a food drive for a third world country or other things that I can practically and yet not so practically because of other things that I "must" do.  I'm not advocating that I'm going to drop out or anything like that because part of my dream requires me to actually have an education but why can't there be something that we can do during school; more things like the movie night or other things that we can do during the school year.  Why is it that the school year has to be so restricting?  We get stressed about doing anything during the school year because we might get behind in our school.  Why is it that we get punished for working for the "The Good Of The Whole Today And Tomorrow."?  I know, I know we must go to school to further our understanding and success of and in this world but can we try to incorporate more of what we're doing in this class everywhere and at anytime?

It's pretty bad when you get irritated about school and then talk about it in a class blog!  But, I've been to other side of this and the grass is not greener; I've seen the numbness of inactivity that is the school year and I don't want to go back.  Now that I've tasted and seen the results of activity I want more of it; I never want to be satisfied or tired of doing.  I want to play the drums and bass, I want to set up S.T.P.O now, I want to have a food drive for a third world country, I want to go to Africa or Asia or S. America and make a difference.  All of this I want to do and maybe I will but here's the kicker, "Patience is a Virtue."  The truth sucks sometimes doesn't it.

So here is my prayer: God, may you continue to develop my passions and dreams and aspirations but may you also develop my patience and wisdom in choosing what to do when and how.  Develop my ability to follow others and to lead.  And finally let me never grow tired of You or Your work.

Amen

I think the reason why Frances advocates poverty in contrast to his wealthy is that it represents the way that Christ lived on this earth and thus makes us possibly a better Christian.  Part of me agrees with his point of view and then again part of me doesn't.  I don't think that we have to live in extreme poverty to be a better Christian.  What I get from it is that we can't live in an obscene amount of wealth while there are those who live in ectreme poverty because of certain circumstances.  Now I do see where he's coming from with the whole representing Christ through that and some are called to that and others aren't.  I think that it's an interesting read because part of me wants to be offended by it and take it as "You must live in poverty to be a good Christian" and then again I know that I don't have to do that but just that I can give to those who need and be okay.

So, give to those in need and don't hoard all your money :)!

These past couple of weeks have been a time of tests and trials and they have not been easy to say the least.  The thing that I've notice though about myself through these tmes and trials is that in hindsight, which seems to always be 20-20, I've seen that God is asking me one question "Can you trust me?"  He's not asking in the "Are you sure you can trust Me," it's more that He's asking "Are you able to trust Me."  Without a doubt I would love to say yes but unfortunately I can't.  Through all of the experiences that I've had in life and the few that have hit me throughout this past week or so I've found that it is I who tries to solve things and I try to make them better and that quite honestly has never, ever worked. 

So, can I trust God? Most certainly, but there are times when, in the heat of the moment and the heat of the moments after that, I forget to trust and say "God, I can't do this; I am on my knees again and I don't have the strength to keep on keepin' on,"; I forget to say "God, carry me."  Why is that? Why is it so hard for me to just let go; why is it hard for me to allow the one person that knows all, and has all the wisdom of the world He created, to take of the situation at hand because in my heart of hearts I know that I'm gonna screw something up. 

What do you guys think?  Why is it hard for us to let go and trust?  How can we claim to have faith and then not act on faith in our daily lives?

P.S. That last question is not trying to imply that we have to be perfect or handle every situation perfectly, only that we seem to rely on ourselves rather than God and I am asking why that is.

God is in all and through all!

Just when I think I have things figured out, God surprises me.  There is no part of me He doesn't care about.

Always be encouraged that God holds you together, not yourself.  So just let go and let Him carry you in His hands.

http://www.godtube.com/view_video.php?viewkey=152b5103d741aca61093

Btw Ty for being very understanding in class yesterday, (for the sophmore class), I know that I talk about Cold Stone alot and it gets really annoying but this is a pretty serious thing for me and I thank you guys for being rather understanding about the whole thing.  Thanks for praying for me and feeling sympathy for me, it really helps me alot.  I hope that I will live to tell you guys how the whole thing plays out because I go tomorrow to talk to Emily.  This whole thing is really irritating me because I know that I am overdramatizing this and that I need to stop dwelling on what could happen and let it go, but because I care so much that's very hard for me to do.  I asked God why it is that He gave me a heart to care so easily and He told me that He loves that way but that I am twisting it to the way that I want to love and that is not cool.  I really don't want to hurt her and I'm afraid that she won't understand what my heart is and that pains me deeply. 

God sees through all things and I'll make it through but I really not doing well.  I feel like a hypocrite because I am loving these people for my gain and using the love of Christ as an excuse for it and that is definitely not Christ like. 

God save me and rescue from my iniquities.  Let Emily see how You care for her before she sees how much I care for her and I pray that the other Cold Stone crews see your love and come to know you.  That I would show your love for you and not for me.  Amen

The question raised is how is sin connected with Adam?  If you read the excerpt it kind of tells you where it says "The cup that Adam has pledged must be drunk", meaning that we must bear the consequences of Adam's actions just like everyone else.  But the way I see it, and this is not a sexist comment so please don't jump down my throat for this, isn't Eve the one who sinned first?  If so then why is Adam the one who is ridiculed the most for messing up, why isn't he considered the innocent one instead of Eve?  I think that the answer is that Adam was charged with the protection of the Garden of Eden and so the pressure was on for him to be the trend setter if you will, the one who looked at Eve and rebuked her for her sin.  But as the story goes Adam is just as gullible or susceptible to temptation as Eve.  So that's why I think that Adam is the one who bears the brunt of the shame for this whole thing; he was the one set in charge, he was then one who was supposed to be the protector and he failed and that failure ultimately led to the destruction of mankind, which is why we bear the consequences of his actions.