As she dreams...

Feature Presentation (2007): "Complete"

            It's strange... At this point in my life I have never felt happier and so self-assured. I have never felt so sure of my purpose in life. Through different things over the past few weeks I've felt that God has been speaking to me as to what my future contains. I know now what I want to do with my life. The gifts God has given me have finally fit into the pieces of work and purpose. I finally have a destiny; a role that only I was meant to play.

            Everyone has a different mix of gifts and personalities. Everyone walks a different path of God's ultimate and intricate plans. Some paths do cross one another's, but none are exactly the same.

            This feeling of understanding is so recent. For years I have been searching for God, crying out to Him in all of my confusion. And suddenly, I know what my life is all about. I get it. I understand why God put me here. Why God gave the gifts that He did. I know my future; I know my destiny; I know His plan. I'm fulfilled in God's peace.

Special Feature (2008): Recent Interview with the Author

            Though I may have found that place in God's perfect peace and assurance, I often found myself forgetting that place of comfort. I now know that though I do feel that I know God's plan for my life, I also must remember that we can never forget that we can never predict Him. And there are also 24 hours in every day of our lives... so how can we possibly know everything that God has for us? *winks and grins*

           So as of today, I am more open to listening to what God has for me in "the now," no matter whether it may seem out of that plan I had envisioned or not. I'm going to led God lead my life day by day, because if I just keep on telling myself "I know God's plan for my life and it's--" etc.... then I will miss out on a whole bunch of stuff. And that is something that I don't want to do. So here I sit for Him... at any moment... any time.

Feature Presentation (2007): The Voices Said "Hide"

I'm sorry if this may be depressing. I wrote this long ago. Those voices inside my head can be so deceiving. I wrote this, even though it is not what I truly believe. But maybe you will understand this feeling.

Run away;

Hide from this shouting world.

Into the silence.

Out of the light and into the darkness.

This hole is calling my name.

It wants me to come in;

To hide in its blackness.

To disappear;

From all that's outside.

Escape from the ever going battles;

Raging inside and out.

You've already lost;

So get away.

Run! Hide! Disappear!

Extended Feature (2008): A New Outlook - The Sequel

I've come a long way since writing those words. I used to be in such a dark place that I believed I could never escape from the thoughts that plagued me for so long. It was as if I was listening to the voices of demons.

But I have come out of that dark place. I have come back to God. I have been rescued. I have risen to fight against those dark thoughts that threatened to strangle me. I finally said "I've had enough" and took up a fighting stance and chased away the evil. Now I listen to the voices of angels. So here is a new version of the little verse I had written above. Here are God's words, which you will see are exactly the opposite from the words I believed (above).

Come with me;

Come under my wings of protection.

Into my peace.

Out of the darkness and into the light.

I am calling your precious name.

I wish to adore you,

To wrap my arms around you,

To love you,

To bless and give you gifts,

To stand beside you in battle--

Be your stronghold and shield.

You are victorious.

Come rejoice and celebrate.

You Are Free!

Question #2: Is it sufficient, according to Wesley, to give generously to good causes? Must we actually go to the prisons? To the poor?

While giving generously is good, that is not what we have been specifically called to do. Wesley analyzes that the word "visit" means "to look upon," which is something we cannot do unless we go to the person ourselves instead of sending someone in our place. Wesley points out another thing (I love this):

"One great reason why the rich, in general, have so little sympathy for the poor, is, because they so seldom visit them. Hence it is, that, according to the common observation, one part of the world does not know what the other suffers. Many of them do not know, because they do not care to know: they keep out of the way of knowing it; and then plead their voluntary ignorance an excuse for their hardness of heart."

By not taking the time to visit those in need, we are denying ourselves knowledge and understanding-a compassionate heart.

So if you haven't heard... Major revival is breaking out across the nation. Apparently there was a conference up in Florida that ended up not stopping and they have been meeting every night for a couple of weeks now. People are being anointed, healed, you name it. Groups of people have stood out of their wheel chairs, etc. It's some pretty cool stuff.

One guy from the Portland youth group went up there last weekend and came back to pray for us at youth group this past Friday night.  Man... the teens were on fire. People were jumping up and down, praying and shouting to the Lord, weeping, sobbing, speaking in tongues, and all that good stuff. I have never witnessed anything like it in my entire life.

All in all, I was a little uncomfortable in it. I'm crazy, but not crazy enough to step out of my comfort zone. I guess that's my problem. So maybe I missed out. I guess I'm still wondering if all this is real.

Question #1: What is the importance of "penance" in Assisi's prayers and admonitions?

St. Francis continually talks about how we are to live our lives in order to be fully rewarded in heaven. We must never keep anything for ourselves; we must become like the poor by giving things to others. "This, my dearest brothers, is the height of the most sublime poverty which has made you heirs and kings of the kingdom of heaven: poor in goods, but exalted in virtue" (page 176). We also have the responsibility to take care of others, especially our brothers and sisters in Christ. "And wherever the brothers are and may find themselves, let them mutually show among themselves that they are of one household" (page 176). We must focus our lives on God, and God alone.

Question #3: For Augustine, how does our commitment to almsgiving relate to salvation?

Salvation is asking for forgiveness for your sins and accepting Christ into your heart so that you may follow and obey Him. Augustine says that almsgiving redeems you of your sins (just like Christ's blood redeems us). If we give to the poor, as Matthew 25 tells us, then we are doing God's work and that gives us the salvation we need from our sins. "You will therefore go into the kingdom, not because you have not sinned, but because you have redeemed your sins by alms" (page 100).

Hello to you all!

The Portland Vineyard youth group performed Lifehouse's "Everything" skit on Easter Sunday and I would like to show you all the video. We still have plans for many changes for the drama, but considering we did not have too much practice time we were only able to learn the original. I'm excited to see what we will be able to do with this drama. We plan to make it geared towards teenagers and perform it at a youth correctional center in June.

So please watch and let me know what you think!

Characters:

God - Josiah Feigleson 

Main Girl - Abby Coleman

Mr. Romantic - Alex Maston

Ghetto Guy - Ethan Bennett

Drunk Girl - Kali Ritter

Model - Samantha Hancock

Satan - Billy Martel

Question #2: What sort of temptations are St. Ambrose steering ministers away from?

He is telling them to not make gold and money a priority in their life. He explains that the poor and the captives are much more important than gold. He says that if ministers receive pay then they should give it to the poor and not keep it for themselves.

Question #1: Who are "the least of these" in this sermon?

John explains that our brethren are not just those who are fellow believers or wise-in-the-word people, but they are also those who need the care that we should give to them. They are the poor, the hungry, the naked, and the thirsty. And everyone deserves our care. No matter who they are or what they've done, God still has mercy for them. "For such does he most invite to brotherhood, the unknown, the contemptible, not. . . monks only, and them that have occupied the mountains, but every believer; though he be a secular person, yet if he be hungry, and famishing, and naked, and a stranger, God's will is that he should have the benefit of all this care." (page 65)

I've been extremely stressed lately. Things have just really been building up over the past several weeks and it was just getting to be too much. As a result, I became physically sick. I have a stomach ulcer and it causes a lot of pain. Thankfully it only hurts sometimes, but still...

Now I'm really worried because I have been so sick with the flu since Monday. I don't know how I am going to get caught up in my school work. It feels so hopeless, and I feel so miserable and ill. When will I ever feel better?

My mom keeps on telling me to just relax and get well. But I can't relax. I'm so worried. A week of school is a lot to miss. Whenever I get behind, I stress out.

Stress can't be a good thing. How can a person cut back? Is it possible to not stress out, even if you're put in difficult circumstances?